Recovering from a weekend on call. It was one of the lighter ones, usual frustrations of my communication system failing on me but not oppressive in terms of volume or urgencies. I'm a little overdue for vacation. I can tell by my general irritibility and lack of interest in doing what i ought to be doing. For the Glorious Fourth I have a four day break during which Irene and I will take in the sights of Mystic and environs. I went there as a camp outing in 1963 and remember the day fondly. Over the years I've had occasion to pass through New London but never stopped for anything more exciting than a snack at the local mall.

I have surprisingly little planned for the outing. Travelling by car allows me to bring a few extra things like books and my laptop or maybe even my drawing kit, things that would be too big a shlep on a plane for a four day trip. My plan at present: Thursday morning getting there, Thursday afternoon resting at hotel, maybe stop at Coast Guard Academy or art museum at Connecticut College, Friday and Saturday Mystic Seaport and Submarine attractions, Sunday home with perhaps a stop in NYC to see Alan's new digs. Nice dinners in the evenings.

I'm flexible and it's Irene's respite too.

rich the furrydoc

shavuot has come and gone. yizkor may have been the last rabbi dresin i will hear, at least officially as he will not be speaking at the belfer bat mitzvah this coming shabbos and i am on call the following week. that leaves the board meeting dvar torah and the last shabbat in june as the final opportunities.

my take on his pre-yizkor remarks goes something like this: he sees the leadership of the congregation as somewhat delusional if they think they can perpetuate the status quo indefinitely. i couldn't agree more. he sees little incentive to grow the capacity of the membership, it certainly doesn't appear self-driven. not only is it languishing at akse but throughout the community there has been an acceptance of mediocrity. his antidote to mediocrity differs from mine. he would put in a mikvah. why? to make it easier to convert people but he would be the first one to withold that right from his fellow RAD members if akse owned the mikvah and set the policy. i think the status quo is better, with the conservatives in wynnewood controlling the mikvah's access and the black hatters assuring its kashrut. he would like a stronger day school. ironically, me too, as it sets the jewish tone for the community. if it is run by slimebugs as i encountered, then it is probably a correct assumption that the leadership of the jewish community tolerates slimebugs. if it functions as a little snot factory, then that same patronizing approach by the leadership toward the constituents permeates other areas. the day school must be strong in its teaching and above reproach in how it treats people at the margins. the rest of the community will follow that same barometer.



i see akse's potential very differently than rabbi dresin did. my model focuses on a hybrid between hillel and ramah. the congregation needs to reflect its constituents to create a base of stability. you cannot successfully pretend to be what you are not under any circumstances. true, you can display what you aspire to but there is a certain amount of honesty required that you really aspire to what you claim and a certain accountability that you work toward what you claim. i see beth shalom doing that but not akse.

akse has a lot of strength. i don't think people realize how important it is to not have macher swoops and to have champions of pet projects. i do not see a lot a vision of what is possible and what is worth working toward.

on the agenda for today, post-practice planning, semi-annual planning and life after st. francis, all related in some way. at the penn commencement mark platt c'79, jd nyu and prominent hollywood producer spoke about the stories that need to be told. we all have some of those stories and are al part of some of those stories. can i describe a genius or a buffoon well. can i make mediocrity or something exception appear vivid. i'd sure like to try this coming six months.

life after st. francis

after several years of professional torture that i can honestly say a) diminished me as a physician and b) prioritized other peoples expectations over my own, i not only decided to pull the plug on st francis hospital but actually did. while the chief medical officer made a very negative impression on me not matched by anybody else over the years, in a sense i am grateful since i probably would have shown more loyalty to a physician that i hold in higher professional regard and not afforded myself the chance to harvest things more to my physician liking as my career reaches its conclusion.

now comes what to do instead. fortunately, june coincides with my semiannual planning that will be taken into account. my guess is that i will have about 15 extra hours weekly as a result of this change though only about half that will come within ordinary working hours. there are certainly new opportunities and i've already made a few early inquiries to explore them.

return to work after a three day weekend. it's not easy and perhaps makes a statement about the work. i've divided my projects into six segments, each done semiannually. this half year:

1. become a sage
2. make my bedroom a sanctuary
3. observe shabbat
4. lose weight
5. move ahead professionally
6. create my synagogue's future

how did i do?

1. i had an editorial in the delaware medical journal and a personal letter with the head of united synagogue of conservative judaism
2. i started organizing things but it's a daunting task and my wife has other priorities
3. i read rabbi frand's commentary every week and i had a shabbat guest.
4. i weigh more than in january. restricting intake has been a struggle and i've been very inconsistent with exercise
5. i decided to divest myself of the st. francis hospital. i'd like to become an expert on coordination of care and cchs may give me an opportunity to pursue this, if not i'll find the opportunity someplace else. i've written a few editorial pieces commenting to the aei think tank and gotten a few responses.
6. i've written a few editorials pieces, transmitted to people who can benefit from them. i've gotten the financial reports to be more understandable.

not bad, not great, but i worked at them with reasonable diligence. in a week it will be june, time to plan the next semiannual projects. i think i need to be more specific about what i want to do.

memorial day holiday, a day off to get caught up on household chores, some of which i did. my garden was disappointing except for sage which seems to outgrow the entire 4 x 4 ft block. we got the deck prepared for the finishers and i made some progress putting away my clothing which has been a daily incomplete project for nearly three months. for a half hour i decluttered the basement, something not really on the get myself ahead list but necessary. rmp

introduction

it is time for me to set up. first, a little about me. i graduated an american medical school of which i am quite fond in 1977. appointments with me are increasingly hard to come by through no fault of my own, though after thirty years i am starting to wind down the patient care aspect and harvest the proceeds of varied experiences and a creative, irascible mind.

while i thought i might be an empty nester by now, such is not yet the case. my daughter starts medical school in the fall, my son just graduated and probably will spend the coming year seeking his highest level of amusement on the video screen. my guess is that he will turn toward medicine as well, maybe going into critical care where the physicians now watch the icu activities on television from a remote site.

this past august my wife and i celebrated our thirtieth anniversary, which counts far above any professional achievements that may have intruded along the way.

we live in a typical suburban tract house, all paid for except for another year or so on a home improvement loan to install paint-free siding, then followed by another similar loan of similar sum for a new roof. we are hopelessly thorough savers, which has worked well for us economically but also resulted in 2400 or so square feet of clutter. the organizing shows on tv wouldn't know where to begin.

this memorial day weekend i'm toying with the summer schedule of obligations: graduation, the rabbi's retirement reception, shavuot, a medical center outing that i'll probably skip, our friend's daughter's bat mitzvah that i won't be able to skip, jury service, a respite away for the glorious fourth, my wife's friend's daughter's wedding, and finally my friend's wedding which we'll tie into vacation. there are two weekends on call thrown in as well. could use some downtime.

rich the furrydoc